Three things I’ve learned about motherhood in the first three months

I have no idea how we got here, but here we are. We have had our little boy for nearly four months. Becoming a mum has been an amazing journey so far, and while parts of it are a total blur already (probably for good reason!), there is no better feeling in the world than seeing those shiny blue eyes stare back at me and a smile creep across his face.

I appreciate everyone has their own individual journeys into parenthood, and every person and couple will have their own challenges. This post certainly isn’t about giving advice to anyone and it’s not even strictly related to diet or health! However, I wanted to share this in the hope that my honest account of how having a baby impacted my lifestyle in the first few weeks provides you with something that you may be able to relate to, and may even find amusing.

1. Breastfeeding is HARD
   Before baby was born, I lost count of how many people asked “are you planning on breastfeeding?”, my go to answer would be “I hope to.”

   I guess as a dietitian, I felt an added pressure to abide by the ‘breast is best’ campaign. However, from working with new mums previously, I knew that it wasn’t always possible for people to breastfeed for so many different reasons. I understood that I might not have enough milk, I knew that baby and I might have trouble getting the latch right, I knew baby might not gain weight, and I was prepared to have to work hard at it, BUT I was not prepared for how much it would hurt.

   Why does no one tell you this?! All those antenatal classes, midwife appointments and even mum friends, I kept hearing and reading that it shouldn’t hurt, but it did. Day and night. I was careful with the latch, tried several different positions and baby even had a minor tongue-tie issue corrected but it still hurt. My other half sat with me holding my hand for moral support while I fed our baby and sobbed. I thought I was doing it wrong, I didn’t feel it would ever get any better, how long would I have to put up with this pain? If it wasn’t for my fabulous mum friends and a wonderful  midwife at Cheltenham hospital acknowledging that it hurts, but it gets better, I’m not sure we’d still be breastfeeding today. I think it took about 6 weeks of this pain until it clicked; our latch improved, my sore, cracked nipples healed, and I started to enjoy feeding him.

   Many mums put so much pressure on themselves to breastfeed, but I have a new-found appreciation for how difficult it can be, and those mums I know – whether their baby is breastfed or formula fed – are all doing an amazing job and their babies are happy and thriving.

   2. Are post birth cravings a thing?!
   I never really had pregnancy cravings, but after having baby, in the early days especially, I craved sugar. I’m not saying this is the case for everyone, but it was for me. Whether that was because of the sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, hormones, irregular eating habits or a mixture of several different things, our normally healthy eating habits more or less went out of the window for the first 4-6 weeks. We had biscuits with our 2am and 4am cuppas, slices of cake during the day and our dinners might have included some veg if we had our hands free long enough to peel some carrots.

   I think in those early days you just do what you’ve got to do to get through each day, and worrying about getting your 5-a-day in doesn’t really come into it! However, a big help was having a freezer full of prepared meals I’d made when pregnant that we could just stick in the microwave (this was one of those helpful pieces of advice I mention below!)

   3. Only you know what is best for you and your baby
   It’s so cliche, but this has been (and continues to be) my mantra. So many people have advice and feel that their way is the best way; some of these people haven’t even had babies, (and I now realise I was probably guilty of this too – sorry friends!). Don’t get me wrong, some advice I’ve received has been great and really helpful, but I try to remember that every baby is different, so what worked for one won’t necessarily work for another.

   Whether you choose to co-sleep or not, breastfeed or formula, swaddle or not, introduce a routine or not, even down to how many layers of clothes you dress your baby in. Every choice we make as parents is made in the hope that we are doing what we believe is best for us and our baby.

   And that’s just it. We are all trying our best.

   Go easy on yourself.